A Poem About My Wife Phil's wife, Beverly (pictured above with Phil) was diagnosed with mixed dementia in 2013 and was placed in residential care two years later. Caregiving should never be a sole lonely journey. A lovely way to express all she meant to you is through poetry. When community members share their stories, it helps others feel less alone. Sometimes shed be perfectly lucid, and then in an instant, she might be cursing, which shed never done before her affliction, or babbling nonsense about imagined jobs and the nursing staffs stealing her belongings. drbj and sherry from south Florida on November 16, 2011: Holle - you have a written a tender, touching account of your mom's affliction as well as how she, at times, recognized what was happening to her. After a year and a half of taking care of her she passed away this past March. The hard work the researchers do a cure, Im sure will be found, So for now dementia I will find that person within, that I once used to be My room is cozy and comfortable - I must admit it's nice. In one poem, "The Battle" (5), the mother slathers herself with Vaseline. May this be a better year ahead. At which point I was sleeping by his bed because he kept trying to get up and would fall out of bed. Thought that you might like to know that we got my mom some kittens during her early days with Alzheimers. I grieve my Mom twice, mourning two spirits but lucky for having known both. I hate you. grieving the loss So young to have this diagnosis. I hope a cure is found soon. 110 Birthday Wishes for Your Daughter That Will Make Her Day They address the "seeds of her disease" (11), exposing the flaws of this relationship without dishonor or blame. It's a Great Life "Karen, she didn't know who she was today." "What do you mean, Daddy?" But I put up with it. By Meagan | Poem: Letter from a Mother to a Daughter | Alzheimers.net Well done, my dear. I had two mothers two mothers I claim, For several years after her passing, my father, my kids, and I went on a "Memory Walk" in her honor. I just left my mothers memorial service. Mum was in the Angling Times for catching a 26lb 7oz carp and could fish along with some of the best of them. When my mom first started showing early signs of dementia with macular degeneration, she was finding it difficult to do such things as going to the grocery store or preparing a meal. I wish this ongoing nightmare wasnt real, What have you done with my mum dementia She could see the smoke! Kathy from Independence, Kansas on November 14, 2011: Ohi think there is a big big chance because you've not only described, perfectly, the condition and it's effects on everyone concernedyou've done it in a very creative and beautiful wayand the description at the end is so honorable towards your motherall the ingredients are there. On the other hand also bravery, love, compassion for us caring for them. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? I miss her delight in Sees candy, small dogs, and Swedish pancakes. Alzheimer's is such a cruel disease, taking our very core away from us and leaving us with fear and ..basically not much else. All material copyright of Susan Noyes Anderson, Website designed, developed and optimized by Kat & Mouse. I miss her sudoku, her crossword puzzles, her Kindle, her love for reality TV talent shows. Remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things. Just over a month ago, my family lost my grandmother to vascular dementia. i want to go home If I occasionally lose track of what we're talking about. My dad was always one step ahead of the game. He wanted to be sure he and my mom had the care they needed without being a burden to their family. The 43 Most Touching Funeral Poems for Moms May we find a cure for this horrible disease. It was the hardest 4 years ever going through denial, anger, violence as mum tried to come to terms with what was happening to her. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. this unending work I think theres a mall right down the street. of their caregiving roles. Additionally, as always, total respect to be given to all caregivers in the month dedicated to them all. Think this page could be useful to someone? My wonderful husband of 63 years is struggling with dementia, caused by a neurological illness. A nursing home, and husbands and wives, they couldnt abandon Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Analyzing Alzheimer's Poem 'Say Cheese' | ipl.org One thing I know dementia you can never steal from me for mothers and fathers . It almost seems like a world in itself, dementia. I miss her cooking, her curiosity, her crazed kitchen cleaning. We sit. It's great to hear from you. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); By clicking submit, you agree to share your email address with the site owner and Mailchimp to receive marketing, updates, and other emails from the site owner. The doctor's confirmation Then the awfull time when she could do nothing herself even talk or eat. I love you, Mom. Memories! How I miss her insights, her humor, her comfort, even her criticism (though she rarely aimed any in my direction). Do NOT submit poems here, instead go to the. A suffocating sadness Your poetry is perfect. Any may your dear mom and dad be RIP or better still kicking up their heels on the other side together. Made me cry! Thank you so much for expressing the feelings and frustrations that we all feel, but often regard as "The Truth that Dare Not Speak Its Name". I just lost my father, only 67, this year to alzheimers. Other changes are taking place slowly. My mother taught to read before I started school and coached me through winning spelling contests. Mum and Dad were married for 65 years until Dad sadly passed away in 2014. Am I in jail? and fight the good fight, few make the choice Happy birthday! All my brothers became wonderful boyfriends, husbands, and fathers too. This is a very comforting poem for a family who has lost someone to Alzheimer's Disease: You didn't die just recently, You died some time ago. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. It's as if they suffer two deaths with Alzheimer's: the death of the mind and personality, along with the death of the body. Forget me not water colour print. Thank you for sharing all and I'm sending it on to my Sister, Brothers and friend in Hartlepool who's Mum went into a home in February. Louder now and yet She was not as social as my dad. It is amazing. I went to the football with Dad and he still loves his Irish music in the morning at breakfast time. TKs, you are too kind. Mum has a great sense of humour, which we are lucky enough to have inherited. Mom hated that place. Love you! Once more, her I have two other poems I was planning on entering, but me thinks you have just raised the bar a wee bit high. I am lost for words. she blows back two. Feel free to search in a nearby city or call us at (866) 567-4049. I said "Hi Dad!" impossible pleas expecting to hear the chuckle I have heard for years. Since he was strong and could partially manage himself, he would wait until I left before he would leave too. Very nicely done and rated up. Oh, for a word! Tentatively titled "Empty". Learn more about our standards and ethics policy here, and please report factual errors to corrections@shared.com, Games & Tech Thats beautiful and made me cry. its not for the money You never give back. Phil's poem is a powerful account of how dementia has changed both their lives. Mary Hyatt from Florida on November 26, 2011: habee, this was so sweet and sad. In the last poem, "At Least This" (26), the poet stoops "to pull the diaper / up around my mother's / waist, my temple / near her breasts." jenu, I'm sorry your family had to go through this. despite having the flu. She was terrified, and that was painful to watch. and your kind words. Shampa Sadhya from NEW DELHI, INDIA on November 14, 2011: An extraordinary work. Awesome. complete with the facial expressions I wear. Me, blue leather sofa. For someone else You can change what you receive at any time and we will never sell your details to third parties. As a precaution, I gave him a tag with our phone number. I think it has to have a profound effect on the loved ones, and it's so sad that someones last years are lived in this desperate prison. Every child has both a father and a mother in order to exist.hence, all that same sex parents are doing is ignoring one of the parents and adding a step-parent in place. I love you. She thinks shes washed, hair done and looking smart You have robbed a husband of his wife. I lost my dad just over a week ago with advanced dementia suffered over a number of years. Thank you so much for your reply. View More. I was 53, he 54 when the complications of Alzheimer's took him. Youre right, this is a beautiful poem, and I consider myself lucky to have spent so much time with my mother during the last five years of her life, even though it was the hardest thing Ive ever done It was also joyful and healing and I have no regrets. Holle Abee (author) from Georgia on November 14, 2011: Beth, I've been trying and trying to call you! Your email address will not be published. Perspy, the worst part of Mom's Alzheimer's was when she still had moments when she understood all too well what was happening to her. Once he was found 100 kms from where we lived. Anglnwu, thank you. ", Try to remember the times when you were little. Thank you Sue for your reply. Three weeks later he passed. She doesnt always remember her grandchildrens names They enabled mum to have her independence. Alzheimers impacts everyone. When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology. It may have been a one-off comment, but I just dont know. I remember her as she was when we were growing up. her elbow bends. I am so very sorry that you experienced all the pain and mental suffering that everyone around and those who have the disease go through. Be seen, It was a nightmare. rescued too fast from Voted it UP, etc. I did enter it in the contest, but I don't hold any hope of its placing. Poem About When A Loved One Has Alzheimer's I always felt that of the over 500 poems that I have written, this one was the most insightful as it was written when my older sister started through this pattern. I give in to my frustrations. Story, it was a tough time. And when my old, tired legs dont let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. stool, my longing. where is my friend? That you are taking away the mum that once was mine, What have you done with my mum dementia She was the one whose features I bear, 16 Poems About Alzheimer's Disease For Alzheimer's Awareness Month 1. We drop in once in a while. cant help but dread, a loved one is helpless Required fields are marked with *. Yes, I miss her, but I am also grateful for the pieces of her that are left to me. with hearts full of holes So quickly she changed and turned into the other, These memories will stay with me until the bitter end, So I say this to you dementia one day your day will come I have met people with memory loss and I have spent time with them and with their caregivers/families at a respite care center where I have been volunteering and where I have shared the novel that I'm writing. Its just like my mom would say in her lucid moments, Its as if someone stole my memories as if I never even lived at all.". Use the unsubscribe link in those emails to opt out at any time. But, like many care partners, I felt I had no choice. She sometimes tells me to sod off Thank you for that, De Greek. When I spoke to her about it, Mumasked me what my dad thought about the delay. He was eventually admitted to hospital and from there we were told he couldnt return home. I could imagine you thinking BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on July 19, 2019: Such a truly amazing view of what she is really thinking. I also read the beautifull poem, 2 mothers remembered at her service. | Did You Know What a beautiful poem. Losing a mother to Alzheimer's - Inquirer.com She asked me twice and I just said, 'Aslong as you are well enough to go home, we are all happy with this'. Holle Abee (author) from Georgia on May 12, 2013: Debby, I'm so sorry that I'm just now seeing your comment. This can be the ultimate gift for someone you love. These poems respect the person within the patient; they forgive the sins of the past and find, within diminishment, the possibility of wholeness. Your description at the end of the poem has a similarity with my experience too. Definitely makes you cry at remembering who they were and who they are now. The day you see Im getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what Im going through. I found my grief and sadness was so deep it was almost like I was frozen. Thats my pledge to my darling mum and dementia thats my promise to you, What a wonderful lovely poem I cried my eyes out when I read it. It is heartbreaking when they no longer know your name. Published by Family Friend Poems August 2015 with permission of the author. So glad you got to see her before she left us. my mother the first, the second and me. I wrote these poems to help express my profound sadness during this season of life with my mom. My mum, Eileen Walker, is a legend and the strongest woman Ive ever met. I spoke to Mum'scarers to make them aware of this. I saw him slowly degenerate. While in their home her routine had been having her coffee, toast and her quiet time in her robe. How beautiful of you to give her your poetic voice. I didn't recognize the sad, still, old man in his wheelchair facing a wall. It is a very cruel, devastating decease for them as well as their family. Worst of all he is on the other side of the world. I can imagine few things more heartbreaking than watching my lovely, intelligent mother decline in capacity day by day. Published Feb 26, 2009. Daddy loved going to the dining room. My hope is to think about and possibly write about the particular facets of grief when your parent no longer knows who you are, when she no longer can be your mother but is still with us. Youre staring, Mom. You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers. The 43 Most Touching Funeral Poems for Moms Mar 23, 2023 by Sally Collins Losing your mom is one of the hardest things most of us will go through. I'm hoping I take after my dad in that respect. About the Blog Author: In addition to being a wife, mother, writer, actress and teacher, Tania Richard was a caregiver for her mother, who was diagnosed with . Inspirational Poem About Alzheimer's, Long Goodbyes - Family Friend Poems Robin xoxo, Your comment made me cry. I am watching this now with my mother's husband and a few others. I appreciate the feedback for my poetry. I left and visited Canada for 3 months, but on my return, friends told me that he should consult a doctor. Thanks! A dignified end Mum was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer's when she was 85. so not many spacers. Alfreta Sailor from Southern California on November 15, 2011: Habee, this was so touching, poignant, heartfelft, warm, compelling, all of that and more. It is such a hard time for us. Throughout my day, one stanza kept coming to mind. I consider the time I spend there to be a celebration of life. My Mum too was a strong lady and worked across the road in a hosiery factory and popped back too to find us jumping down the stairs onto a mattress. I keep thinking I must call her today, I must send her letters each week, I must make certain we connect because I don't know when she will begin to not remember who I am. I no longer enjoy my frequent visits to mums Your poem aptly captures the frustrations and challenges and sense of loss I imagine people must be feeling when they see the changes that Alzheimer's brings about and yet I see these family members and caregivers soldiering on, under such difficult, trying circumstances. Take care and be kind to yourself. cause they dont earn a penny, love is the reason Frozen grief is such a good description of the grief that comes from watching a loved one change from the effects of Alzheimers. I know that if my grandmother was here today, she'd have the most comforting words for my mom. Our favorite lines of poetry Karen. and dealing with life's issues every day. Dad standing by the gate in charge of the stop-watch, One thing I know dementia you can never take away Thank you Julie, Thank you for reading my poem Saying goodbye to my mother. dementia caregivers: a poem - My Alzheimer's Story 'The Silent Killer' - a dementia poem for my mum - Alzheimer's Society Yes, the dementia changed my Mom to someone I didnt recognize at times, but my love for her never changed. The woman she grew up idolizing was slowly fading away. I decided to give him a bath, and as I was drying him, he whispered, "Thank You." Annabel Sheila, Clearing The Way By How very scary for the victims of dementia, no matter what form, when they know they are forgetting and have the feeling that your mom has expressed of loosing her mind. Karen. This month we honor and applaud you. Bless them all for their patience and loving kindness. One of my greatest fears in life is that I will get this horrible disease. Mum would say, 'Think about how you would like your sisters to be treated and treat girls the same as that'. and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. Copyright 2022 A Place for Mom, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The miracle of life in all its diversity, isnt singular nor one way, because we all have the opportunity and the privilege that comes with caring for each other in a way that enhances the experience. It is such a cruel illness. Demas W Jasper from Today's America and The World Beyond on November 14, 2011: Two things to ponder: my cousin's wife had Alzheimers and he commented that taking her to Disneyland was always a treat because for her it was brand new each time; and, their son died as a successful, just-retired adult, from rapid melanoma. Who would want an old womans panties? My Mother's Alzheimer's: A Poem Holle Abee Oct 22, 2015 Mom with my granddaughter. With a big smile and the huge love I've always had for you. From the person that I knew. The thought came in early January of 2004 that maybe Mom should be moved to another facility, as it was getting increasingly difficult to care for her. Living With Dementia, Aging Poem - Family Friend Poems All stories are moderated before being published. I hope you still can understand With care, Mum was recently in hospital with COVID-19 and other health issues. Dear habeethis is so touching, so compelling and so real. My moms dementia progressed and it was given the name Alzheimers. semblance of a heart. She follows suit and In these poems, Slatkin's mother appears vibrant and whole, not ravaged by disease. It has been so most heartbreaking thing I have had to endure in my life. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. I was 53, he 54 when the complications of Alzheimer's took him. She also has macular degeneration and early onset Lewy Body Dementia. Yet maybe it's a way of seeing through the curtain and listening and hearing of what awaits for us and leaving us oblivious to everything else going on around us in our present world. Voted up and awesome. That night I wept. Common Mistakes: the word "i" should be capitalized, "u" is not a word, and "im" is spelled "I'm" or "I am". Mum worked hard, at home looking after us, baking jam tarts, and making home-cooked meals. Tags: aging, alzheimers, daughter, dementia, elderly, mother, senility. I have just come back from 3 months with him. Follow My Alzheimer's Story on WordPress.com, Alzheimers and Dementia Awareness on Facebook. He believed we'd met on a train in Europe during WWII. I no longer have patience and it just drives me insane, What have you done to me dementia It is sad to see her where she knows that she forgets things and says I am loosing my mind. This is without a doubt one of the best poems I have ever read! My mother came to live with my husband and I when her dementia got where she was unable to live alone any longer. continual questions It was a role I wasnt trained for, hadnt expected and was comletely ill-equipped to perform. Top 500 Poem 438 My beautiful mum passed away on the January 20, 2020. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don't interrupt to say: "You said the same thing a minute ago. Sometimes, when I came back to the house after a run or a trip to town, she would greet me like I was a visitor rather than her daughter. Mom's last Thanksgiving. I was there when she died. must contact me personally for specific permissions. I see the sadness in your eyes, It must have hurt you terribly. Let's all hope that they get a cure for these terrible illnesses soon for future generations. In March 2000 my father passed away when they were just a month away from completing their sixty years of marriage. It's just so overwhelming, I was very fortunate to have a mom like i had and i will never forget her. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. And he'd apologize profusely for imagined and real deeds for which he was very sorry. What makes Family Friend Poems collection of published poems special? unheard. Peace and blessings to you and thank you for your compassion, kind, caring loving heart and soul. Required fields are marked *. The green outfit Mum is wearing was something she made to go on holiday! The times that you are knowing I've lost members of my family too, to this. Here's hoping it's conquered very, very soon. Holle Abee (author) from Georgia on November 26, 2011: Mary, I have the same fear. Our regular support email includes the latest dementia advice, resources, real stories and more. Soft hazel eyes, Karen, she didnt know who she was today., When I was in the bathroom she opened the door and said, Who is your wife?You are, Kathryn, you are my wife., Its a great life, Karen.Its just sad that it has to be like this.. into roles that everyone theyre drafted instead At his prime as an exporter, his secretary fell for him. Poem About When A Loved One Has Alzheimer's, Changing Places give me the time to remember, and if I can't, don't be nervous, impatient, or arrogant. Thank you for sharing xx, YW and I cant remember if I already replied to this comment . Share it:. My voice, too soft, how are you involved in educating healthcare providers and what are your experiences? Nowhere else seemed like home to her. This is very hard for Mum and the family. But these poems are more than poignant narratives about a daughter's relationship with a once-difficult, now dependent mother. Happy . Registered office at Alzheimer's Society, 43-44 Crutched Friars, London, EC3N 2AE, Alzheimer's Society is a registered Charity No. In order for her to return to her present living situation, she would require 24-hour care. Dad would love her one-liners and they used to make him chuckle. Thats why the poem is disjointed I was trying to capture her tortured thought process. My mother was quiet about the reality of her daily life caring for the man she married over 60 years ago. As if on strings, She knitted my brother-in-law, whos a motorbike fanatic, an amazing Harley Davidson logo jumper, which he still has to this day. I also appreciate the vote! The most precious of all relationships. It is such a sad ending when someone you love doesn't exactly "die" so much as "fade away" gradually. See more ideas about grief poems, grief quotes, alzheimers poem. then year after year give me the time to learn and don't look at me that way. Alzheimer's disease Young onset dementia Vascular dementia Dementia with Lewy bodies Frontotemporal dementia Mild cognitive impairment Posterior cortical atrophy Primary progressive aphasia Rare causes of dementia Dementia risk Genes & dementia Effects on everyday life Getting a dementia diagnosis For children & young people Need to know more? I had to learn the meaning of the words, too. cause dementia caregivers I too was with my mum until her last breath as she passed away comfy in her bed. but dive in the water At times, the changes to Mum occur so rapidly, they can catch me by surprise. Photo by Holle Abee. As I got older, she somehow younger grew, Sorry to hear of your loss. Mom's last Thanksgiving. In the first poem, "The Loss" (1), the author takes us into her mother's home--a disorganized mess of stained thrift shop clothes folded and refolded into piles. drbj, I so hope they find a cure for Alzheimer's soon. And when my old, tired legs don't let me move as quickly as before. Hello, hello, from London, UK on November 19, 2011: Holle, you done a superb job here showing how they feel and think and jumb from one thing to another. It describes exactly what it was like taking care of my Mom. That's why this poem from Alzheimers.net is so beautiful. Two Mothers Remembered by Joann Snow Duncanson - My Alzheimer's Story Alzheimer's / Dementia poem and hand painted mount. This change in our relations. Tell Johnny hello miss seeing you both. once bright before, days of yore. thank you for this poem and your sharing. My poor, dear, sweet friend, I feel everyting you want to say here and all I can say in return is :May she rest in peace". Horrible, but so glad l was with her to the end as she was with me at the start. I know it is coming and I dred it so much. distant shore. Thank you so much for sharing this xx, Thank you for sharing your poem and to be honest I echo everything you say. She doesnt smile and say a cheery hello when I walk through the door, What have you done to me dementia You have done an absolutely beautiful work of art describing the devastation and "long goodbye"of Alzheimer's. a death that is slow, and so they are left To My Mother by John Gilson If I were granted one wish today, and I knew it would come true; I'd ask the Lord for a little time, to speak alone with you. Mothers and daughters worldwide who live with dementia every day know the truth in these words capturedso eloquently in just six stanzas. Lucky, I'm bowled over by your praise! GOOD LUCK!! Protecting you the best I can This is simply beautiful thank you Joann and Susan. One thing I know dementia you will never take from me Sunrise. To claim that a child has two moms is a lie. Heres our Privacy Policy. Saddlerider, it's so nice to see you here. For mom, it was a different story. Mothers and daughters worldwide who live with dementia every day know the truth in these words captured so eloquently in just six stanzas. The woman she grew up idolizing was slowly fading away. they run round in circles Your body went on living. When they started coming through. they dont notice the heat This book is recommended for any caregiver, any family member who struggles to love and care for a patient, a parent, or a grandparent with Alzheimer's. Here are some ways family members and primary carers can approach the difficult question, 'What do I say to someone with dementia in residential care who wants to go home?'. Mum shared Dads love of fishing and together they would go fishing on a Friday evening and come home on a Sunday. My husband of 57yrs has just been sectioned and I'm heartbroken I love him so much and to see him like he is is soul destroying .