I don't think she will stay with me if I become a woman. By the time the girls were born, we had moved to Long Island and were living about 10 miles from where we married. The trans-rights and gender-equity activist has preached compassion and acceptance in TED Talks on YouTube, on Jada Pinkett Smith's Red Table Talk, at President Joe Biden's Inauguration prayer service and in her church, Left Hand Church, which she cofounded in Longmont, Colorado, in 2017. . As a Woman | Book by Paula Stone Williams - Simon & Schuster We all have a few. How do you prove you are still married when you just celebrated your 50th wedding anniversary 16 days earlier? Sometimes people step up and take big risks for social justice, but there are an infinite number of moments when you can help out in the small ways. After watching the final season of Lost, Paula knew she had to transition. I drank too much and did my best to put on a happy face, but it was pretty brutal.". Even though it's been a tough process for my family I choose to stand on the side of love and acceptance for my father and so many others," Jonathan wrote on his Facebook page. I honestly didn't know what was wrong, why I liked women's things but didn't sexually. I mean, among other things, that would include destroying my own church. Williams has experienced American life as both a man and a woman. I thought I was gay and I that I had it all figured out, but as I would find out years later my story was even deeper. Books are reliable companions, keeping you connected to the spirit of the species. I, like so many of my generation, lacked the knowledge of what I really was. Women of Today - 2 Paula Stone Williams @paulaswilliams2 is @TEDTalks Speaker on Gender Equity and #LGBTQ Advocacy, Author of the book, As A Woman! Some of the complaints about the ministry come from pastors who started churches with them. One is a novel. I believe we have to make our lives beautiful and I have the intention of tending to mine like a beloved garden. By 1977, Paula had reached a high level with Orchard Group, for which she raised funds and started new churches. You cant learn everything you need from social media, friends, family, nature, or your lived experience. When I was with guys I never fit in, when with women I always fit in. Paula Stone Williams is a Pastoral Counselor and internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. Now, I feel about some parts of the United States like I feel about fundamentalist Muslim nations in the Middle East. I probably do not give enough weight to the emotional effect of having the world I inhabited for five decades turn its back on me. Who would have the temerity to say, I dont read books? Apparently, a lot of people. In most Western nations, the subject brings a big yawn. But 84 percent of evangelicals believe gender is immutably determined at birth and over 60 percent believe we already give transgender people too many rights. For Cathy and me, that language is descriptive, but not very helpful. With the great wisdom you have gained, with so much experience. They have not. It's a battlefield with my body using guerrilla warfare on my mind. That is what I chose to do with my one fragile and precious life. After spending 60 years as a man, Paul came out as transgender to his family and Paula was born . Reading my sons book would be a threat to your conviction that transgender people destroy their families. After coming out as transgender in December 2012, Williams was swiftly fired from a position as an evangelical Christian leader. To be successful as a blind transgender woman, I have to be stronger. Nevertheless, neither one of us ever strayed, and we never contemplated splitting up. I felt it was never safe to tell anyone though. I love the military, I love my military family, and I'll gladly give 30 years if I can do it as the real me. I was feeling more comfortable as I was dressing more masculine which seemed to give me a bit more confidence. Paul is called to die. This talk was presented to a local audience at TEDxMileHigh, an independent event. At the encouragement of a friend, I just finished re-reading Bren Browns The Gifts of Imperfection. What transitioning taught a transgender pastor about power, sex and Whenever other people are involved, you confirm the facts with them, or when that is not possible, with others who were present. Leelah's unsupportive parents attended a church that taught them not to accept their daughter's gender. It is one of my favorite books of all time, even better than The Middle Passage, another great book by the brilliant Jungian analyst. 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The cost has been high. As you grow older sometimes a path no longer feels like an option. Whenever I wrote essays, short stories--now comments--and people don't know my sex they ALWAYS assume that I am a male. It's a lifelong process, something I will never really finish. What saved me was a return to faith, realizing that no matter what, God still loved me, and that I with His help, I would be able to muster up the nerve to move forward. I was fired one week later, for "egregiously violating company policy". This weeks fiasco in the Arkansas Senate is only the latest example of the danger at hand. At its earliest, gender identity awareness exists by three or four years of age, and sexual identity awareness by nine or ten. If I could say something to every trans person out there, it is that you are not alone, it is positive (if not awesome) to be different, and you have mentors and resources (please use us!). Meanwhile on the inside I was tormented with turmoil, why wouldn't this just go away? Dr. Paula Stone Williams is uniquely qualified to address this topic with mental health practitioners, pastors, educators, and corporate leaders. Forbidding transitioning will not solve that problem. You are a lesbian and Cathy is not.. We were at Mike Solomons office. We vacation together. But the storm of my transition has left a road full of boulders and branches. Paula Stone Williams is a Pastoral Counselor and internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. Ive been waiting for something new from Sides for a couple of years. (It is an honor to be among that 100.). I like to mix humor with pathos, and I couldnt find much humor in the actions that forced the development of my resilience. All rights reserved. Host(s): Kate Archer Kent. Recently there has been a lot of controversy regarding Acts 29, a large church planting ministry similar to the one I directed for a quarter of a century. I avoid my home states of Ohio, Kentucky, and West Virginia, unless I know I am going to be in a supportive environment. "These convictions have been passed down by each generation of leaders. stays there, inside the dishes and in the glasses, so that his children have to go far out into the world. Only the United States has gone to seed on it. I was wrong about Paul's character.' I am living a happy, proud, and gender fuzzy life these days. Terry Schilling, president of the organization, was asked if their opposition will stop with bans on medical care for adolescents. Rev. But she didn't expect all ties to be severed immediately. I was tired of living in a shell of myself, and I'm so glad I've made this journey. I tried therapy during moments of clarity but, because of my lack of honesty, it never worked. Living life as an openly bisexual transsexual Quaker man has been a real blessing. It is so foreign to anything I have known over the last ten years that it leaves me dumbfounded when people say with a straight face that God expects wives to submit to their husbands. My friends said they needed more people holding more umbrellas to protect the children. 'As A Woman' Is Our Next Selection For - Colorado Public Radio Well I don't have to do that anymore and I couldn't be any more happy. It says nothing about being transgender. But that was then. I had known for most of my life that I was somewhere in the middle, and that I didn't fit with men or women. Once an evangelical pastor, a transgender woman is on a mission to My transition wasn't a distraction, it didn't cause an uproar, and I didn't lose respect among peers. I love my wife, and I know she loves me. The grandchildren adjusted without much difficulty. That certainly helps trans people. Nobody ever thinks Im the age I am. Join us to hear from Dr. Paula Stone Williams about her experience journeying from male to female and from despair to joy. Armed with the word of God and ready to seriously consider transition, the crisis evaporated. I did have some bad days but I feel they were learning days. Dr. Paula Williams is Transgender and Shares Key - Tanya Priv I can only imagine how parents with transgender children must feel. Thankfully, protections are emerging so we don't depend on folks deciding to "do the right thing.". After I came out, I realized that everything in my life had been divided between me pursuing my career and me being myself, and how much that had cost me. I'm too stubborn to not be myself, so I've never hidden who I was. Some struggles are obvious to all, but most are privately endured. A Transgender Woman Looks at Male Sexuality. It is a memoir. I thought it would take as little as a decade to bring about equity for trans and non-binary people in most parts of America, and not more than a couple of decades in more conservative regions. As a child, when I first learned the concept of 'God' I would pray every night that I would wake up with a male body. Even with the loss of my family, you know what, I'm very happy and accepted who I have become. When I tell people I have a trans son, the usual reaction is, How did you deal with it? The truth is that I love my son as much as I loved my daughter. I Know What It Means to be a Man, I Used to be One. After all of the laws and rhetoric of the last few months, its pretty hard to make me laugh about this subject. Id like to forgive my evangelical friends, but there is such a thing as cheap forgiveness, forgiveness that comes too soon, before you realize the awfulness of a thing. I went to the folio show for magazine editors back when there were magazines and I worked for one, and the editor of Rolling Stonedelivered a keynote speech. They usually think Im at least ten years younger. I'd stop crying and come down and I'd preach and be really glad and say hi to everybody, and then I'd get home and go to sleep. Once I realized that not all "females" are like me I started to second guess myself. Cathy and I were committed to each other, and to the institution of marriage. With no obstacle to self-expression, how would you live your life? Trans Activist Led Anti-LGBTQ Evangelical Denomination for 35 - Yahoo Or maybe I give up the idea of doing a talk altogether and my granddaughters collectively give one on how theyve been ruined by having a grandparent who is transgender. Williams was fired from Orchard Group and from the Christian Standard periodical, where she had worked as the editor. The fact that there was a fix put me at a crossroads: do I chance giving up everything that I have to be me or do I continue living as that guy. I sat on my couch and laughed at the absurdity of the accusation. Paula Stone Williams, pastor of Left Hand Church in Longmont, spoke at the 59th Inaugural National Prayer Service alongside 29 other participants. I had dismissed my feminine yearnings as mere proclivities. It was only when I woke up gasping for air with the noose still around my neck, that I realized I had nothing else to lose by transitioning. "I thought, 'Oh, s---. Paula Stone Williams is an internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. Being disowned by my entire family, last year, hasn't deterred me from being a fighter in all senses of the word. As Paula, the former conservative leader says he is going public with his story at this time because he wants to save at-risk Christian transgender teenagers. Today Paula Stone Williams is a pastoral counselor and woman but for the first 60 years of her life, Williams identified as male. Barring trans kids from scholastic sports is just the beginning. Paula Stone Williams opens up about her new memoir, As a Woman, and her hopes to make amends by spreading lessons of love and compassion, Paula Stone Williams is candid about spending most of her adult life as a prominent male leader in evangelical ministry, which, as she puts it, "teaches the LGBTQ+ population will go to hell unless they give up their sexual identity.". Ive found my role models now in communities and coalitions of other trans women of color, who have been continual inspiration for resistance, healing, organizing, and thriving. They are far more socially liberal than their parents, and they already make up 42 percent of voters. Paula Stone Williams' Memoir 'As A Woman' In Works As - Deadline Hate mail comes in waves. After coming out as transgender in December 2012, Williams was swiftly fired from a position as an evangelical Christian leader. Ive been working on the talk for months. I must respect their grief. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are telling the world that we are part of all societies and will settle for nothing less than respect. If its a really good book, I run out of blank pages in the back and switch to the semi-blank pages at the front. One of my mentors, Roy Lawson, read a book a week. Pastor who led conservative church planting organisation for 20 years "I'd be upstairs crying before church. "I couldn't say anything to anyone," he told The Times. Pastor. I didn't know I was a transgender female until around the early '70's while in the military. As Paula describes her church's guiding principle: "There's room for us all . Texas has introduced over 100 bills in 2023 restricting transgender rights. Americans no longer go to church, they say. I am emceeing the June 24 event, which is always fun. Now, more than ever, we need allies willing to speak up on our behalf. When you don't give up, and you stand against the world in defiance of what others try to make you do? When I transitioned, I saw a clear pathway forward for transgender people. I simply know in my heart and mind Im a woman. My overall quality of life has significantly improved since I started transitioning. Conflict over womens roles in the family and the church is just one example of the fantasy bubble of evangelicalism. Books are the legacy of our collective experience. Another problem is that social pendulums perpetually swing from one extreme to the other. I am more than willing to use my platform to speak out against anti-transgender rhetoric and legislation. (Ever hear of the Cane Ridge Revival?) My wife is still strong by my side as is my daughter with both being an amazing support. On Friday, after The New York Times profile about his father's transition was published, Jonathan appeared more settled and supportive. I've discovered who of my former life truly cares about me, and moreover, I've come to love myself. We need apprentices, willing to take direction from the trans community, to help us battle the ignorance and prejudice permeating our nation. I've always been trans in some way-- the feelings have just evolved over time as I've grown. In the newspapers defense, the article did focus on the fact that the threats were completely unsubstantiated. The board members of the town in which I live were all encouraging one another to run for office again next year. It takes hearing peoples stories and being in close proximity to one another to narrow the political divide. If you turn to the page, the quote is underlined or in brackets. While I continue to speak on the ongoing fight for gender equity, I am offering a new talk on what is happening in America with the anti-transgender laws, rhetoric, and repression that are permeating our nation. Awful, right? Their reasoning was simple, if inaccurate. By subscribing, you understand and agree that we will store, process and manage your personal information according to our. Awful . Well, at least some do. By telling my story it is in hopes that this number will go down. I do not believe our lives are any more or less difficult than most, and we are grateful for the abundant blessings we enjoy. But that never stopped me from doing my best to be who I was. Like an amoeba under a microscope, Im a living data point. Yep. They grieve my passing. I read novels and historical books on my iPhone. Some books have hardly an unmarked page. Eunuchs, 'Frankenstein level stuff' and ISIS: This trans sci-fi horror story is real, LGBT Groups: Conservative Christians 'Have No Place in Government', MLB Team Defends Decision to Invite This Former All-Star for 'Christian Day', Oregon First State to Offer 3rd Gender Option on Driver's Licenses, Trump Admin. Paula Stone Williams is a Pastoral Counselor and internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. We are people who have a hard time destroying dandelions in our front lawns, because you know, they are dandelions. Church attendance might be down, but the church will be just fine. My story is not a story of 'this to that' it is simply one of me affirming the gender I have always been. This was a call that demanded attention, water breaking, contractions every minute. Though I never allow my gender status to define me, because above all I am human and my interests expand beyond what the world perceives me to be. It wasn't until I was a freshman in high school that I found the world to describe the piece that was missing. TED Conferences, LLC. Stopping anti-trans laws from being signed into law will solve that problem. Instead, I steered the conversation to the many blessings I have experienced since my transition. I thought that I was completely alone in what I was feeling, that something was severely wrong with me, and that I needed to be "fixed.". But wait a minute, right wing folks dont watch TED talks. Our nations future depends on active citizens willing to fight for equality for all Americans. Then within minutes, going: 'Oh, wait a second wait a second. While caution is appropriate, parents and medical professionals should make those determinations, not legislatures. They are upset over Acts 29s lack of transparency over whether or not they still believe in a complementarian view of women. I drank beer with guys and pretended to be a good 'ol boy. Gender identity, like sexual identity, is on a spectrum, and it is rarely apparent early in life. Paula went on to attend Kentucky Christian University and, in her senior year, to marry the woman she loved, Cathy. Some days I am male, some days I am female, some days I am neither; some days I am both. 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As I told my parents, isn't it better to have a living daughter than a dead son? My journey is still very new but I relish each day that I grow into becoming my best and most authentic self. Im re-reading James Holliss The Middle Passage and getting ready to start Ed Yongs An Immense World. As I got older, my body developed at a young age and I remember and always feeling disconnected from it, resenting its betrayal in presenting me incorrectly.